Is it possible to turn bullying into a gift?

turn bullying into a gift

Is it possible to turn bullying into a gift??

Spoiler alert: yes


Yesterday I shared a YouTube Short on a subreddit.

Two phrases, 10 words, that can help people keep control when someone says something unsolicited or rude.

The link didn’t carry over to the post, & when I jumped back in to correct it one Redditor had already responded that my post didn’t matter because I didn’t list out the two phrases & whatever I had to say was meaningless anyway – then disparaged the subreddit itself.

This is bullying

In case you’re not sure – this is #bullying in a very benign form that often goes unaddressed: Someone using verbal tactics to bring down someone else’s #confidence & #selfesteem for their own enjoyment.

He was not alone.

A couple more jagged comments trolled in.

I responded back, wished them a lovely day & went about my own.

Hurt people try to hurt people.

Bullying is a fear-based control move.

I am not an expert in bullying. I leave that to the Alexander N. Andrews‘ of the world.

I am an expert on living with the effects of bullying.

And I have learned how to turn bullying into a gift.

In 2014, my niece hung herself after months of unrelenting bullying she couldn’t escape & didn’t have the resources to cope with at the tender age of 14.

She is why I believe it’s important to be open & talk about things like this.

With yourself.

Who knows how things might be different now if she had been able to do that?

We will never know.

How I turn bullying into a gift

So, I talk about it because

▸That first, unsolicited response shocked me, it was so unnecessarily rude.

▸It made me wonder if I was good enough, cool enough even to post on Reddit.

▸I was embarrassed that my post was publicly stomped on before it was even seen.

👆Those are all things I need to examine & understand for myself.

Because telling myself it was all ok, just rude people being rude, & that I wasn’t bothered is neither true nor helpful.

Talking it through – exploring it – with myself is my power move.

Because, ultimately, I have control over only one thing – myself.

✅My perspective.

✅My understanding.

✅My reaction.

✅My self-command.

And I have to be ok with that.

❓Why was I bothered, embarrassed, shocked?

▸Was it the word meaningless used to describe me & my contribution?

▸Was it the fear of not being accepted?

❓Why are those important to me?

▸Do I believe my value is tied to acceptance?

❓What can I learn about myself through this experience?

▸I might be placing too much importance on how I am perceived.

▸The perception of others can make me question my beliefs about myself.

▸I am strengthening my self-command muscle every day.

❓What are 3 gifts I can take from this situation?

▸I am a safe space for exploration.

▸Experiences like this help me become more empathetic and forgiving.

▸I am proud of the progress I’ve made on ‘maintaining my even strain’ when my emotional boat gets rocked.

What about you?

Ever had a similar experience?

Were you able to turn bullying into a gift?


👋I’m Gretchen 😎

👉I teach struggling professionals to turn adversity into advantage.

🎯Sane #strategy. Serious #results.

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