Blog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTA9pC6M4Wk What do you think? Is it holding you back from success? Success sucking thoughts 🤔Think your boss hates you? ​👻Sure you’re getting ghosted by that recruiter who never called you back? 😠Feeling uncomfortably competitive with that new hire they brought in (to replace you, maybe???)? Those are thoughts that suck you dry of success. They do. Because if those are examples of your perception of things, then it’s your reality. Truth. What’s also true is that there’s a super high probability that you’re creating circumstances and situations to make those kinds of things come true (if they haven’t already🥺). Don’t get defensive – it’s natural. Success sucking thoughts are natural In fact, it’s a natural defense mechanism. But just because it comes naturally – …

Perception v Reality: Are you holding yourself back from success? Read More »

You do NOT have control of anything – not one single thing – UNTIL you know how to take command. Control and command are close, but not the same. Self-command and self-control are like kissing cousins, BFFs, two halves of the same coin – but make no mistake.They are NOT the same coin. ➡️CONTROL is the active part – the thing you’re doing or not doing.➡️COMMAND is the AUTHORITY to make it happen – or more importantly to know when and how to STOP it from happening. 🎯Without command, there is no control. And we’ve all been there. Lack of command just FEELS bad. That gnawing, wibbly, kind of🤢 soursick feeling you get because of something you did or said you just WISH you could …

You’re not in control until you take command Read More »

😖Hate being interrupted?Who doesn’t! 😀Try this strategy and watch those butt-ins go bye-bye! How to stop people from interrupting you ‘Extending the invitation’ is my favorite strategy to stop repeat-offender interrupters because it gets the most surprised reactions at first, has THE BEST ‘after the meeting’ positive circle back effect is extending the invitation and is a TERRIFIC exercise to help you harness your power of self-command to master a moment that might otherwise get the better of you! 👇▸Catalyst: You’re interrupted – for whatever reason and in whatever way.▸Reaction: You react ONLY positively with an acknowledgment response.▸Response: (finger or hand up – whatever halts the other person’s forward momentum in a non-confrontational way – and then statement) ‘Oh, hang on there just a sec …

How to keep command of the conversation Read More »

There is a fundamental piece of information for our success that is missing – and NO expert, guru, crystal ball or Farmer’s Almanac can give it to any of us because they don’t know it. It has to start with you Plans, systems, hacks, tips, tricks and strategies ONLY work if they work for YOU. Cold calling and cold DMing was something I was told I MUST do as a new business owner, but I’d never had to before and when I tried it literally felt like I was peeling off my own skin. There’s a reason for that – and it goes back to understanding how I operate, WHY I do, what conditions I’m working with and so on and so on. If it …

Start with you – and everything works out Read More »

You have goals. You’re taking steps; making strides. But you’re holding your personal applause until you get to the finish line. Why?! Celebrating the small steps is my surefire, ride-or-die, #1 way to make sure you GET to the finish line. Most people (up to 92% – yikes!) give up on their goals because they don’t think they’ll reach them.; Which of course, is because they’re so focused on that one big kahuna end goal and aren’t celebrating the many micro-wins that pave the path to every big goal achievement. Every goal reached is the results of a series of smaller goals reached. What I’m celebrating For example, right now I’m celebrating my YouTube channel getting accepted into the YouTube Partner Program. WOOHOO!!! But, honey – let me tell you that I’ve been …

Why aren’t you celebrating?! Read More »

https://careerinsightsconsulting.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/hamster-wheeling.mp4 Generic advice is usually bad advice leading to hamster-wheel whiplash – and it may be the worst thing on LinkedIn these days. 👆Hamster -wheel whiplash is what I call one very specific type of conflicting single-source ‘success’ and ‘well-being’ advice – and here it is: ▪️ Single Source:{insert guru’s name here} ▪️ Success Advice:You need to post every day to be successful on LinkedIn ▪️ Well-Being Advice:You need to take care of YOU posts (mental health, self-care, etc.) 🤔Why is generic advice the worst? Because it is straight up TRASH advice on both fronts. 1️⃣ Getting you on the hamster wheel Advising you to post every day to be successful on LinkedIn is simply an invitation to get on the hamster wheel. It’s a …

Generic advice can cause hamster-wheel whiplash Read More »

https://careerinsightsconsulting.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Do-you-master-the-moment.mp4I don’t like sleeping in (sleeping late or whatever you call it).I don’t like it – at all. The hubster’s a huge fan of it and he is always telling me to do it as a ‘reward’.But it doesn’t FEEL rewarding to me. It just makes me feel frustrated and behind as soon as my feet hit the floor. That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.It’s just not MY thing. Sleeping late is no different than so many other things that some people swear by and others want to swear off. Again, not a bad thing.Just part of being human. Part of being in alignment.And that ain’t woo-woo – it’s how life works.Or … doesn’t. If you’re aligned with something – you FEEL good about it (or with it or because of …

It’s all about alignment Read More »

Do YOU master the moment – or does it master you? How much of your time — your life — have you spent in regret, doubt or anger? Time spent in regret over something you said or did in a moment you wish you could get back? Time spent in doubt over a chance not taken in a moment where confidence failed you? Time spent in anger in the heat of the moment that took control and got the better of you? And how much time have you spent trying to make it up, make it right and make things whole? You Can Master The Moment You can stop it. You can change it. You CAN learn to stay calm and in self-control no matter what is happening around or to you. I know …

How you spend your time is how you spend your life Read More »

You are so screwed. If you lose your job. If you eff up your relationship. If you tank that project you’re in charge of. You will be screwed. Won’t you!   Won’t you? No. It’s a lie. You’re not screwed if any or even all of those things (or more) happen. Check in with your stress You’re not screwed. Not now. Not one bit. But right now, that doesn’t matter. Because right now – in this moment, you legit 100% believe you will be – and it’s stressing you out. Big time. You need a check in. Because most stress comes from fear. Fear talk:“If this ‘bad thing’ happens, that even worse thing will happen!” Won’t it!   Won’t it? No. It’s a lie. You …

Why ‘check yourself before you wreck yourself’ just WORKS Read More »

You did it – I saw you, so just admit it. I see you I see you today.I saw you yesterday. StrugglingSucceedingSkepticalSureWorriedUnwaveringWrongRightDownUpAnd everything in between. Today is all Today. That’s it. Today is ALL that matters. Today is all there is! Oh, I know it doesn’t always feel that way. Remember – I saw you. I saw you hold your tongue when you had something to say. I saw you open your heart when you knew someone else needed it. I saw you show up and I saw you shut down. I saw you have a great day and I saw you defeated by sunset. And guess what? You get to do it all again. Because no matter what kind of day you had yesterday …

Today is all that matters Read More »

You’re not where you want to be. You’re not where you thought you’d be by now. You’re not where you think people expect you to be. None of that actually matters. What matters is your vision for your life and what you’re doing to create it for yourself. YOU own your life Let your life happen! Let it happen the way YOU have envisioned it for yourself. It’s great to have mentors and allies and friends and family and all of the other people that make up a strong support network. We ALL need that. Where it gets tricky is when we give up ownership of our dreams in favor or pleasing those who influence us or worse – out of fear that our vision …

STOP giving away ownership of YOUR own life Read More »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOcjS6_EGAY&t=3s You know what’s worse than being so 🤬🤬🤬🤬 frustrated you just can’t stand it?!?DO YOU?!? 🙋‍♀️I do. It’s called ‘being the source, the cause and the sole reason for your own frustration’. 😖ACK!!! We all experience self-created frustration That’s where I found myself this week. Self-created frustration.And deeeep IN it, too!!! And it’s why I made this video yesterday. Because I know I’m not alone. I know you’re out there.😠Pissed off.😡Ticked off.🤬Ready to pop off. And that’s why I’m out here.👀To let you know I see you.🤗I feel you.🙋‍♀️Heck – I AM you!⚒️And I’ve got a couple of things that I know can help you. Because it’s ok to feel bunched up inside and scrunched up outside.::: we all do it ::: 🚫But it’s …

How I move past self-created frustration Read More »

Please note that this post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links at no cost to you. Can a bad boss be saved? Is it worth it to even try? You tell me – what did I miss in my advice here?  Can this bad boss be saved? A question was posed on Fairygodboss (link in comments) regarding a bad boss who presented one way during the interview and a totally different way on the job. Vague priorities, conflicting directions – and now they’re both frustrated. This was my input on saving this bad boss:  “The shortest path to resolution is to be direct, professional and respectful when you discuss this with him.Because you need to address …

Can a bad boss be saved? Read More »

No two people live the same reality. Does that make you nervous? Suspicious? Confused? Amused? It’s likely no two people reading this will have the same response. Similar? Yes. The same? Doubtful. Because the reality we each live is tied to our individual perspectives. Perception isn’t reality, but reality is the product of perception. Perception and reality are inextricably linked – and unique to each one of us. Perception and Reality Perception is the lens through which we view the world and our experience in it. Reality IS what is experienced. So, already you can see that reality is tucked inside perception. Perception does not have to be true to be what we believe to be real.I’ll say it again:Perception does not have to be …

Perception and reality: It’s yours to create Read More »

Please note that this post contains affiliate links, meaning I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links at no cost to you. “SHUT THAT %$@!!# DOG UP!” That’s how the guy across the hall at our hotel woke us up – screaming and banging on the door of the room next to ours. Change your thinking. Change your results. January 2016.We were in Alabama for my mother’s funeral. We decided to get a hotel room because the family ‘crush’ was just too much for my dad. The Drury Inn on 280 is close to dad’s house – and also a pet-friendly hotel. Whoever was staying in the room next to us had a dog who was alone in the …

Change your thinking. Change your results Read More »

Is it possible to turn bullying into a gift?? Spoiler alert: yes —– Yesterday I shared a YouTube Short on a subreddit. Two phrases, 10 words, that can help people keep control when someone says something unsolicited or rude. The link didn’t carry over to the post, & when I jumped back in to correct it one Redditor had already responded that my post didn’t matter because I didn’t list out the two phrases & whatever I had to say was meaningless anyway – then disparaged the subreddit itself. This is bullying In case you’re not sure – this is #bullying in a very benign form that often goes unaddressed: Someone using verbal tactics to bring down someone else’s #confidence & #selfesteem for their own …

Is it possible to turn bullying into a gift? Read More »

💥When nothing else works – keep working on it! 😎Every challenge is an opportunity to think differently. Keep working on it His may look like the face of defeat, but THIS is the picture of determination! Mr. Can’t Stop Won’t Stop (aka Newman the best kid ever) DIDN’T STOP even with medication, the cone, the donut (not pictured), the surgisuit AND a backward T-shirt. So today we have introduced pajama pants to the mix.And later today we will test modified long john pants (snugger fit). Keep working on it 💥When nothing else works – keep working on it! 😎Every challenge is an opportunity to think differently. This one has been a two-week living example of having:✅ the information (keep him away from the surgical site, why …

When nothing else works – keep working on it! Read More »

The first 36 hours after losing your job are NOT the time to work on your resume or apply for a job. In fact, it can do real damage if you do. Because you’re not ready. I mean, they got you, didn’t they? The folks who told you there was a place for you. That you were family. They pulled you in with talk of being part of something – a team! And the holiday lunches, promises of a great career path, Town Hall swag bags, early-out Fridays and rah-rah ‘culture’ clubs made you FEEL like you were. Then one day there’s a meeting, a separation date, your access is terminated and your left asking ’why me?’ It’s not you. It’s never you. Layoffs and …

What to do in the first 36 hours after losing your job Read More »

Support can be a game changer – a life saver. “Your daddy’s been hit by a train” December 9, 2016.I had just finished setting up the holiday lunch at work when my cellphone rang – showing DAD CELL on the screen. It wasn’t dad. It was a man who identified himself as Martin Brasher of the Vandiver Fire Department on the other end. “Your daddy’s been hit by a train” There are just some things that are timestamped on your brain – and your life.This was one of them for me. ⁜ But this post isn’t about the train crash or really even about dad. This post is about support. Support from others can change your life Something has happened to you.Something that is timestamped …

Know when to let people support you Read More »

About the need to get it right and get it done: Don’t push the river. 🎁There are gifts and opportunities in everything, so you literally cannot get it (anything, your life) wrong. Yes, even the very, very bad stuff.I was laid off from my job in 2004 and took the first one that came along – a very (VERY) bad one. The opportunity was for me to widen my gaze, shift my perspective and value my worth and the gift was Tropical Shipping. ✅Getting it all done (whatever ‘it’ is for you) is both impossible and unnecessary. Yes, even the really, really big stuff.Raising your kids, building your business, being a good friend👯‍♂️, losing loved ones, self-development, education🤓, surviving your house blowing up with you in …

You can’t get it wrong and you’ll never get it done Read More »

What happens to you when things don’t go as planned? Or worse?! Do you give up? Why not, right? IT’S EASY!I know. I tried it. 🙅‍♀️No, I do NOT want you to give up! 🙄 🫵And let me tell you something else – as much as you might want to, feel like there’s no alternative and (worst of all) that you’re justified in doing it – you don’t actually want to give up, either. No matter how bad it seems. What happens to you: Well, I gave up 14 years ago today I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. An MRI showed ‘abnormal areas of prolonged T2 signal’ and a spinal tap showed too many oligoclonal bands ‘consistent with a finding of multiple sclerosis’. Second and …

What happens to you is actually up to you Read More »

MAYbe it’s time to go for that thing you want to go for, keep saying you’ll go for but never actually DO go for?!?!? May is the perfect time to DO IT!! Because the end is nigh! ::: to take advantage of this exclusive invitation ::: This is the last weekend of April. 😲 The final hurrah of the official month of🤑Tax Day🌎Earth Day🦄Unicorn Day🐧Penguin Day✋High-Five Day🤣April Fool’s Day🌈Chase A Rainbow Day Mmm, yeah, ok – BYEEEEE! An exclusive invitation for May! Yes, you need to make room for May!🎉🥳 Ok, sure – it has to be acknowledged that May is the place for National Pet Month (HI NEWMAN!!!)🐶::: ok, every day of every month is National Newman Month in my house! ::: And it’s …

An EXCLUSIVE invitation for a very select few Read More »

Practical jokes are serious business. Because laughter and humor are good for you! April Fool’s Day! April Fool’s Day is a great reminder of the personal power of humor in our lives. It triggers healthy physical and emotional changes, strengthens the immune system, elevates our moods, helps us process stress and can help alleviate pain. Did you know that you can’t focus on negativity when you’re preoccupied with something funny? It’s true! Shared laughter also helps people bond with each other, and it’s critical to empathy, compassion and forgiveness! So this April Fool’s Day – and every day! – tickle your funny bone, get your hehe howl on and roll out the roars as needed! It’s good for you! ————————- 👋I’m Gretchen 👉I am a …

Why laughter is serious business Read More »

The job is not the answer to your problems. Your job can’t solve your problems. No. But YOU can. The job is not the answer to your situation You can be homeless, in dire financial straits, wracked with fear – AND have a successful corporate career! 🤯 That was me in 2018. 😀I was running my own department as a marketing director at a large multinational corporation. 😖I was also homeless overnight after a faulty power line destroyed my home with my husband and I inside. 😖I was financially f*_ked – despite the big job, title and compensation – because1️⃣ I still had to pay the mortgage on a house no one could live in.2️⃣ We still had to live somewhere (can you say first/last/security …

The job is not the answer to your problems – THIS is Read More »

AI versus human response – NO contest! Because there is NO substitute for authentic human experience. One Prompt: How does victimhood limit you Two responses: 🤖 GoAnyword AI-Generated Response: Victimhood can limit you in many ways, primarily by focusing too much on the injustice you’ve experienced and losing sight of potential opportunities and possibilities that lie ahead. It can take a psychological and emotional toll, making it difficult to make progress, connect with others, or be successful. Victims are often confined by feelings of helplessness, fear, and doubt which can hinder the pursuit of personal goals or endeavors. Furthermore, victimhood can leave a person vulnerable to exploitation by those with malicious intent, or may give those with prejudiced views a justification for prejudice or discrimination. …

AI versus REAL Human Response – How does victimhood limit you Read More »

Does your boss interrupt you in casual conversation or official meetings? Did you know that every time that happens it’s an opportunity for YOU to lead them by teaching them how to lead you. It’s true! ::: IF VIDEO DOESN’T LOAD, YOU CAN WATCH THE YOUTUBE SHORT HERE -> https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5BXTxv0dvPQ ::: https://youtube.com/shorts/5BXTxv0dvPQ?feature=share You CAN teach your boss how to lead the way YOU want When someone interrupts you – do this!👇 1. respond in the moment – never after the fact 2. focus on the point you were making – not the interruption 3. be enthusiastic about making your point – when you’re upbeat, others will match your energy 4. be respectful and professional 5. be inviting What does that look like?👀 When someone interrupts you, you …

What to do when your boss interrupts you Read More »

Thank you to the team at Forage for the opportunity to be a part of your most recent article about the job skills in hottest demand for 2023. This article provides so much valuable information about:● Skills employers want● The right way to include skills in your application● Job skill trends for 2023 – and more! 𝗝𝗼𝗯 𝗦𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟯 “The pandemic put a spotlight on the need for communication and digital dexterity skills, and it’s only intensified across the post-pandemic remote and hybrid business landscape,” says Gretchen Skalka, leadership and career development coach.  Read the full article to get detailed, actionable advice from more experts, including Daniela (Dani) Herrera, buck martinez, Jennifer Lennox, CHRE, Matt Warzel, CPRW, CIR!! ———————–👋I’m Gretchen 👉I am a career and personal development strategist …

Job skills for 2023 Read More »

It doesn’t matter. Seriously – whatever anyone else is doing – doesn’t matter.Unless we allow it to. This is how any thing becomes ‘a thing’.Through allowing. And this is the gateway to the belonging trap. Those ‘things’ can be quirky, helpful or fun.Like the popularity of Crocs, or those ‘I was this many years old when I leaned’ videos or glamping (is that still a ‘thing’??).Benign. Harmless, right? But what about when they lead to confusion, limiting thoughts or dangerous actions?▸Like when we allow the opinions or actions of others to through our own personal beliefs into doubt? ▸Or when we allow those ‘things’ to stop us from pursuing our goals?▸Or when we create unhealthy behaviors and thinking patterns based on those ‘things’? Because what …

Are you a victim of the ‘belonging’ trap? Read More »

Nothing here is new. In fact, 👇this was the first article I ever published on LinkedIn – January 2017.https://lnkd.in/eESpKXet Nearly 6 years later, it remains one of the most salient pieces of advice I can provide. Thought I’d share … _____________________________ The world of work is very small.This is important. Over the course of your career, you will run into people who have either worked directly with you, with someone else who has worked with you or with someone who knows you through an acquaintance or current/former colleague, etc. Kind of a six-degrees of separation for the world of work. But it may be even smaller than that! As Daniel Burrus pointed out in a great article on his site this May,“Now that the majority of us …

Is Your Reputation Damaging Your Career? Read More »

You’re not the boss of me!!! Ever said that? Maybe when you were a kid, standing – arms akimbo – in front of your mom, refusing to do something she wanted? Most of us have.And, it’s amusing, perhaps even a little nostalgic, to think back on the “before” time. That’s what I call the days before someone else’s opinion of us became more important than our own. 🤨What school is the best for us.🤨What we should study there.🤨What job we should get.🤨What job we shouldn’t quit (no matter how much it’s killing us). 🤨What title we should aim for.🤨What salary is acceptable.🤨What kind of house, car and clothes are appropriate. Don’t even get me started on the more personal opinions. But I don’t need to.Because …

You know what is right for you Read More »

Don’t hate the player – hate the game. Because the data behind the exceptionally misleading headline of this article about remote worker productivity has the master takeaway of ‘leaders’ giving remote workers mixed signals when it comes to what is considered ‘productive’. Are you kidding me with this?This is neither new nor newsworthy. Remote Worker Productivity What’s at issue isn’t so much 𝘩𝘰𝘸 or 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 actual work is getting done, but rather what is considered productive work in the first place.Which, in this case, turns out to be adherence to a time-bound schedule. NOT work accomplished, projects closed, calls made, KPIs achieved, ROI smashed.Nope. “… many leaders are sending mixed messages, officially encouraging flexible, remote work while informally signaling that those who stick closest to the old …

Remote Worker Productivity & The Leadership Relationship Read More »

For all the career changers – intentional or not – here is a quick video with an exercise JUST FOR YOU that can help you identify your hidden skills and even more transferrable skills than you may have ever realized you had! 🤯😀 ———————–👋I’m Gretchen 👉I am a career and personal development strategist on a mission to teach you to find what you love without losing yourself in the process.​🎯I create sane strategies that produce serious results. 📰 If you thought this post was interesting, you definitely need to sign up for my newsletter – where I give my subscribers exclusive insights, actionable advice and tips to take advantage of select opportunities.   ======================= Here are the ways to work with me at Career Insights: …

Here’s a GREAT way to find your hidden skills Read More »

What do you do? If you’ve had abbreviated tenure at in your last several roles, you may be asked 👇this tricky job interview question in an interview:𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬? Smile. 😀It’s your lucky day! 🍀Because this tricky job interview question is a golden opportunity! 🌟 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝. It’s a good question to be asked.👍It really is. The purpose is to get a better idea of your working skills and how you might apply those to 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 position. The interviewer likely isn’t insinuating anything with this question because, frankly, most employers don’t actually care why you left other jobs. Because they’re not interviewing you for a job you 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 to have. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆’𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗼𝗿 the …

How to answer THIS tricky job interview question Read More »

The easy answer is DON’T answer the salary question right away. Because this is NOT a question that should ever be answered as a one-answer-fits-all. The answer will be as different for every job seeker as they are from each other. Don’t let anyone force your hand or pressure you for an answer until you’ve done your research. Why shouldn’t I answer the salary question right away? Because it’s a ‘knockout’ question. And your answer will depend on who is asking the question, in the first place? A recruiter on a first outreach? A hiring manager at the offer stage? Somewhere in between? How much do you know about the position? Many things influence salary expectations – and they all must be considered in your …

How to answer ‘What Are Your Salary Expectations?’ Read More »

Google ‘what is a career coach’ and you’ll get a gozillion answers … each one slightly different from the rest but all correct at the same time. Because career coaching, at its core, is a purpose-driven partnership with the goal of helping change or improve your professional life (which is a fancy way of saying we help you figure out what you want and how to get it). But what that means for you is going to be different than what it means for anyone else. And so, there is a common, fundamental goal of every coaching partnership, but the path each coaching relationship takes will vary. What is a career coach – part of a partnership The Coach Career coaches are advocates. Our role is to …

What is a Career Coach? Read More »

Can you be happy at work if you haven’t figured out what you want to do? Doubtful. But how do you figure out what you want? Read on. Do you even know what you want? This seems like a fairly straightforward and easy-to-answer question, right? Well, it should be, yeah. But it isn’t. Far too many people get it wrong far too often because they’ve been trained to get it wrong. To clarify, most of us learn from an early age  to define what we want by using someone else’s definition of success. The final model may vary slightly, but the general curriculum is to go after the: job position title company that offers the most probability (not possibility and not opportunity – but probability) of success. And success …

How to figure out what you want to do Read More »