Are you a victim of the ‘belonging’ trap?

It doesn’t matter.

Seriously – whatever anyone else is doing – doesn’t matter.
Unless we allow it to.

This is how any thing becomes ‘a thing’.
Through allowing.

And this is the gateway to the belonging trap.

Those ‘things’ can be quirky, helpful or fun.
Like the popularity of Crocs, or those ‘I was this many years old when I leaned’ videos or glamping (is that still a ‘thing’??).
Benign. Harmless, right?

But what about when they lead to confusion, limiting thoughts or dangerous actions?
▸Like when we allow the opinions or actions of others to through our own personal beliefs into doubt?

How to find out if you are a victim of the belonging trap

▸Or when we allow those ‘things’ to stop us from pursuing our goals?
▸Or when we create unhealthy behaviors and thinking patterns based on those ‘things’?

Because what would they think if I …?
Would they like my post, my video – me – if I …?
What would happen if they …?

The ONLY thing that matters is what YOU think, if YOU like you and your stuff and what YOU want to happen.

Because YOU are in control of all of that. You create it all and everything (ever single thing) flows from that.

Foam shoes, video trends, business ideas … books, philosophies, industry, commerce, government … war, crime, guilt, shame, joy, elation … – every ‘thing’ that IS started out as a thought someone had.
::: 👆please read that again :::

Once thoughts – good or bad – take hold and are repeated, they become the beliefs that influence the decisions we make and actions we take (or don’t).
::: the belonging trap in action :::

It can be tricky – I know!

We all care what people think!

A sense of belonging is a fundamental human emotional need. It’s evolutionary – part of our earliest survival instincts.

At work, in school, at home, to a group or social club, our peers, family and friends.
To belong is to be accepted and supported; a way to give and get attention.
But you can’t truly belong to anyone — except yourself.
Do not EVER give that away!

Thoughts become things because we allow them to.
::: That will always be a thing :::

If you’re in the belonging trap and could use a little extra boost to your personal sense of ‘I ROCK’ today, perhaps try one (or all) of these practices:

Not woowoo at all – mindfulness is all about being in the present moment – which keeps your attention on what IS true and real for you, instead of what you might assume is what someone else is thinking or doing or saying.

Most people are their own worst critic – far harsher on themselves that anyone else. Two successful techniques I’ve done for years – and practice with my clients – are to make affirmations a daily practice (remember, thoughts DO become things) and to use the same self-talk usually reserved for friends and loved ones.

🌟Letting it go🌟
Getting our inner Elsa on – judging ourselves less is taking a step on the path to freeing ourselves from the prison of worry about the judgment of others.

You CAN this. You CAN do anything.
Why not start today?

👋I’m Gretchen

👉I am a career and personal development strategist on a mission to teach you to find what you love without losing yourself in the process.

🎯I create sane strategies that produce serious results.

📰 If you thought this post was interesting, you definitely need to sign up for my newsletter – where I give my subscribers exclusive insights, actionable advice and tips to take advantage of select opportunities.



Here are the ways to work with me at Career Insights:


🔥Sign up for 1:1 Private Career Consulting (6 Week):
🔥Check out my Signature IA Coaching Program (12 Week):
🔥For Public Speaking, Group Coaching, Team Development and all other queries:



Connect with me on Social Media:






Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

error: Please do not swipe my original content
Scroll to Top